‘I had prepared an excellent speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I’m married … I’ve been told to read this one instead.’
‘I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man’s life when he can speak without being interrupted … I may be here sometime.’
‘I didn’t actually receive an invitation to the wedding, so I hope I haven’t just eaten somebody else’s meal.’
‘When I asked [bride’s] father if I could marry his daughter, he wanted to know if I would be able to support the family. The answer was no! I was only planning to support his daughter. The rest of them would have to look after themselves.’
‘A lot of people believe that girls marry men who remind them of their fathers, which explains why [bride’s] mother crying so much during the ceremony.’
‘I was a bit nervous about giving a wedding speech so I had a look online for some tips. The best advice came from Franklin D Roosevelt who said “Be sincere; be brief; be seated”. So…..thanks very much for coming!’
‘[bride] says that I never listen….or something like that’
